Setting expectations

One of the beautiful realizations I came to this week was that there's nothing wrong with me. I used to think that I was missing something because I'm so detached to things. I don't have a very strong attachment to items, symbols, etc. Anything that would make me a personality, or character. I'm not even attached to my own name. My identity never stuck with an object, like many others have favorite colors, animals, symbols, etc. Because of that, I felt like I never had an identity, and that made me very sad.

In The Untethered Soul, it says that your identity is your own. You are you, before you loved (item). If you weren't a male/female, would you no longer be you? If you weren't (ethnicity), would you no longer be you? It goes on in much more detail.

I cried when I read that chapter. That's what I had been feeling. I'm not "a Korean girl" -- I am me. I happen to be Korean, and female. But that isn't who I am. The biggest relief was to read something that someone else wrote, that is what I feel but had such difficulty expressing in my own words. I never put thought into these types of labels. I just go on living as me. And when other people would make comments about (some description of me), it would take me aback. Well, I never really thought of that before, but alright..

Labels, labels, labels. The world is far to vast to be put into a category, and assumptions be made. Aren't they always wrong, anyway? Who says that if I like (blank), I must dislike (blank)? There are no rules. Most of the arguments that go on are over labels. Because two people disagree on the meaning of a label, or definition.

Back to the point, though. I expected myself to search for certain qualities because it looked like a basic thing that everyone should have. (An item, symbol, animal, color, etc to represent who I am). I felt lost because I didn't have one, and others did.

Once I let that go, I was free to just be me. And I don't feel lost anymore.

"You are not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis." - Tyler Durden